This was something that came up in my high school senior year English class, and I found it very fascinating. Have you ever had the urge to do something you know is bad and will have a bad outcome for not only you but maybe even others? The most common urge I’ve had happens when I’m driving. A couple of times, whenever there’s a break in oncoming traffic, and then a bunch of cars start coming again, I have this strange urge to just yank the wheel to the left and drive head-on right into the first upcoming car. The worst part of it is that I get the impression that I want to do it just for shits and giggles. You know, just to see what would actually happen. Now will I actually ever do it? No I won’t because I know better and I’m not a suicidal maniac, but its like a small itch at the back of my brain that comes back every now and then.
I thought I was alone in having these feelings for awhile until it came up in English class and then I realized a lot of people have actually experienced this phenomenon. What causes these urges? I’m not so sure. Maybe its simply the strength of curiosity. Leave a comment if you’ve had a similar experience.
ALL the time! and not just swerving into traffic either. driving into pedestrians, jumping off of high ledges to my death, running down the supermarket aisles and pulling all the stuff off the shelves, slashing peoples tires, pulling the fire alarm, tipping porta-potties, etc. etc etc. sigh maybe it’s unhealthy, but it keeps me entertained.
I experience this daily, but it is because of my OCD not anything else. My doctor calls them “intrusive thoughts” and they really are, sometimes I can not focus because they overwhelm me. I hope you don’t suffer my disorder, it really sucks. Sounds to me like your just weird.
From Annie Hall, Alvy is Woody Allen; Duane is Christopher Walken:
INT. DUANE’S BEDROOM-NIGHT
Duane, sitting on his bed, sees Alvy walking past the open door.
DUANE
Alvy.
ALVY
(Walking in)
Oh, hi, Duane, how’s it goin’?
DUANE
This is my room.
ALVY
(Looking around)
Oh, yeah?
(He clears his throat)
Terrific.
DUANE
Can I confess something?
Alvy sighs and sits down, leaning his arm on Duane’s dresser. Duane’s face is
big lighted by a single lamp.
DUANE
I tell you this because, as an artist,
I think you’ll understand. Sometimes
when I’m driving … on the road at night
… I see two headlights coming toward me.
Fast. I have this sudden impulse to turn
the wheel quickly, head-on into the
oncoming car. I can anticipate the
explosion. The sound of shattering glass.
The … flames rising out of the flowing
gasoline.
ALVY
(Reacting and clearing his throat)
Right. Tsch, well, I have to-I have
t-o go now, Duane, because I-I’m due
back on the planet earth.
He slowly gets up and moves toward the door.
I think most people have bouts of self damaging behavior. I am a cook and work with a lot of large machinery used for cutting and blending etc. One of these days I swear I’m gonna just thrust my hand into the robochopper. I think it’s natural to be curious. As long as you don’t hurt anyone else.